And now the moment you've all been waiting for, the top five songs of the 15 BEST BONESAUCE SONGS EVER!!!

05 Thru 01

05.

SONG: Grass Is Greener
ALBUM: Fantasic Four

In my mind, Grass Is Greener was the blueprint for the alt pop sound that has since dominated the BS catalogue. This song has been the launching pad for a lot of popular BS tunes, from Whatever to Pictures Of Me On The Internet to Dots Make Lines / Lines Make Sound. And it's impact continues to loom large.

04.

SONG: (This Song Ain't No) SO
ALBUM: Chimp Jerk Fling

I consider SO to be an update of Bag O Chips, and while Chips made the list, SO outdoes it by a mile. The clever rock posturing lyrics, pounding bass, metal guitar licks all over place and, of course, the "Sex, Drugs anna Rock N Roll" chant makes this tune RAWK without being another nostalgic exercise in ROCK.

03.

SONG: People People What Do You Want Reprise
ALBUM: Chooklyn

The People Reprise is what all of the songs on the Chooklyn album are building up to. While it's certainly epic in length, it's not your typical "epic" rocker. In fact, the song is almost an album in itself, with a lot of layers that force repeated listenings. It's sad, angry and excited all at the same time. It's our best closer and it tops the original People.

02.

SONG: (Gonna Rock It Like) Ace Frehley
ALBUM: Ace EP

While the edit is listener friendly, the original is the defining mix. It's a simple song, but it's also the tune that kicked off a new era for BS. It's the foundation of both the Chimp Jerk Fling and Chooklyn albums. And not only is it all that, it also rocks and you can shake your booty to it. Also the best use of a keyboard on a BS song ever.

01.

SONG: Happy Holidays
ALBUM: Cutie Demo

I used to be surprised that a hateful break-up song disguised as a Christmas carol would also be our most poular tune. But I now understand why this song continues to be the pinnacle of the BS catalogue. It's good in all the right places, soft opener, bombastic ending and a lot of spiteful, but singable lines smushed inbetween. The update is good, but it's only good because the original was so damn fantastic.

To recap, I'm reviewing "THE 15 BEST BONESAUCE SONGS EVER!!!" And I can say without hyperbole that this selection of songs are the greatest songs Bonesauce has recorded, EVER! In the second part, we see two selections from Chooklyn, a smattering of booze drenched odes to alcohol and one more (and final) BS instrumental.

Again, I selected this list and did not consult with the other members of the band. And also, if you want to listen to any of these songs, simply select the music tab at the top of the page. Enjoy!

10 Thru 06

10.

SONG: You'll Be My Pillow
ALBUM: Chooklyn

This drink inspired tune is an ode to the morning after a hard night out, where our protaginist wants nothing more than to lie with his girl and dose off. This song had been kicked around and recorded in a number of different ways, but I think the BS version is the definitive mix. Everything works, the sluggish bass licks, the too bright guitar strums and my half asleep vocals.

09.

SONG: Death I Hear Ya Callin'
ALBUM: Dewitt Sings The Songs Of Bone Sauce

The other drink inspired song to make the list, this time a cliched glorification of hard livin' and hard drinkin', Death is a merger of prog and blues, with a tinge a metal thrown in for good measure. Justice's Sonica work shines under Bram's surprising musical restraint. Without doubt, this is BS's best epic rocker to date.

08.

SONG: The Theme To Bucky Starlark
ALBUM: Fantasic Four

The last of the instrumentals to make the list, this is a dirty little rocker that is dripping with the lowest of lo-fi. It's sloppiness is probably helped by the fact that I'm playing the guitar riff and Bram is playing the drums. It's a fitting theme for a low budget film that does not exist.


07.

SONG: Love Me
ALBUM: Cutie Demo

This song is the pinnacle of the BS Golden Age, which is defined as after Baker quit and before Pat left. It is awash with grunge influences, but also starts to highlight some of touches that would continue to define the Sauce Sound, from the upbeat and slight bridge to sludgier riffs, both of which would dominate our music under Chris Cassell, see Mellow.

06.

SONG: Dots Make Lines / Lines Make Sound
ALBUM: Chooklyn

While this song is brand spanking new, it's also an instant classic in the Bonesauce catalogue. Not only that, it rocks well. The lyrical structure is more poetic, but the influence, recording at 6ft. Studios, is easily understood. In my opinion this may be the most infectious pop riff that Bram has ever written.

I figured since Bonesauce has been together since 1991, that was about time we pulled a VH1 and compiled a "best of" list for the band. I considered many topics, such as Bonesauce's Top 10 Stinkiest Moments (No. 1, "You made me eat those eggs!"), Justice's Top 25 Hair Styles (No. 1, Feathered Mullet) or Top 20 Band Mascots (No. 1, Nappy the Napkin or Dewitt (tie)). However, in the end I decided on the instaclassic "BEST SONGS EVER" List. I should add that all of these songs were selected by me and me only. I did not consult with the other members of the band and I wholly (and hopefully) expect that they will respond angryily and amusingly. So without further fanfare I give you the 15 BEST BONESAUCE SONGS EVER!!! (Please note: all songs listed can be enjoyed by going to our fabulous music page.)

15 Thru 11

15.

SONG: If I Ran The Circus (2008)
ALBUM: Ace EP

While reimaging old tunes can sometimes produce mixed results, the Circus remix on the Ace EP made this BS classic only better. It keeps all of the lo-fi quirkiness while adding a touch of gloss, making the updated version become the only version.

14.

SONG: (Now Yer Messin' With) A Bag Of Chips
ALBUM: Chimp Jerk Fling

The first of many faux rock posturing tunes by BS. This one set the standard for our perfect mixture of alt rock apathy, swamp rock boogie and glam metal guitar. And it also sports the best use of a drunken Boston accent since Ted Kennedy.

13.

SONG: White Pussy's Theme
ALBUM: Chooklyn

This surf inflicted guitar rocker has everything you'd ever want from a theme song if you were an evil villian looking to dominate the world and destroy Bucky Starlark: manical laughter, thrashing guiatr solos and general plotting and scheming.

12.

SONG: Lust
ALUBM: Cutie Demo

This song is close to my heart, seeing as it was three years in the making. It's got all the angst required of a 90s tune, and yet it still holds as a heartfelt love song. The guitar work easily matches the screaming (and cracking) vocals that carry the song throughout.

11.

SONG: Chimp Jerk Fling
ALBUM: Chimp Jerk Fling

It started out as an exercise in noise and more noise, because of my own strained vox and Justice's effects driven bass, and turned into the song that defined the CJF album and the current working style of the band. Bram's solid production work created a loud noisefest that you can also dance to.

TOMORROW: 10 Thru 5 of the BEST BONESAUCE SONGS EVER!!!

We suck. We haven't posted in ages. Goss is in Europe and I am currently sitting in Altoona, Pa's finest hotel room. And we all know Bram is more of a comment kinda guy.

So without further delaying my white trash adventures, listen to Captured by Robots! rock out some Journey:

MEOW!